006. friendless birthday...

Hey, its just me. And its my birthday. Woo yay 19. You may or may not be thinking what I did on my birthday. Well, I didn't do much of anything. Wanna know why??

I.HAVE.NO.FRIENDS.HERE.NOW.

Moving away from my hometown meant that I had to leave friends behind. Moving to where I go to college means that when summer comes, all my college friends go home to their families, leaving me here all by myself with my parents and my mom's cat. HOORAY FOR ME. And, the few friends I do have here decided to go on vacation like normal people do during the summer. So nevertheless, I worked a 4-hour shift and my parents took me out to dinner. Talk about being an adult now right??

Also, my theory is that if it wasn't for Facebook, 95% of your friends would not even know when it's your birthday. Wanna know how that's proven? People you are friends with on Facebook but have never met once write "Happy birthday(!)" on your wall, which of course since they were nice enough to venture onto the homepage and see that someone on their friends list had a birthday and they took a mere 5 seconds to type that in that "write on their timeline here" box means that you have to thank them, even though you don't know them. And why am I friends with people I have never met on Facebook? It's called I-was-a-freshman-in-college-last-year-and-you-get-friended-by-anyone-in-your-class-on-Facebook. And by that little rant theory doesn't mean that I'm not happy that people write on my Facebook wall for my birthday. I'm just speaking the truth. 

What is even worse is when your close friends who happened to not venture to Facebook on the day of your birthday have no idea that it's your birthday, thus not wishing you a happy birthday and makes you feel like crap and possibly begin to think of how close of friends you really are with that person. Ouch.

And another thing that makes your friendless birthday not the greatest is when you can't get the one thing that you want for your birthday that every other person on the Earth got for Christmas, which was 7 months ago, besides you- a NEW PHONE. To everyone who thinks I am spoiled... NEWSFLASH. I DON'T GET EVERYTHING THAT I WANT. I've been wanting and talking about a new phone since last year. Thank you Android for making a crappy prototype phone in 2010 which is currently suffering a slow and painful death in my presence. And why can I not get a new phone? My parents won't pay for it nor do they have the money to pay for it. POINT PROVEN. And I could use the money I got for my birthday from my parents and grandparents to buy the new phone. That's not the issue. The issue is that until Dad can afford to buy himself a new phone, I can't get a new phone. AND I am a lovely college sophomore that needs to pay for textbooks. Bye bye birthday money, nice knowing ya.


And that is my birthday rant for today. And I know I haven't posted in four days, but that's because nothing meaningful has been going on. 

Also too in conclusion, I am thankful to have had another birthday. And I am also thankful to those who wished me a happy birthday either on Facebook or by text. The reason for the Facebook birthday theory was not against anyone, it's just something that has been on my mind and everyone knows that it is true, but no one wants to admit it. I just felt that it went well with what I was writing about today. I love you all <3


But hey, that's just me.

Friendless birthday...

 Don't do what's written underneath the "Feel lonely?". That's just dumb. BUT..it is a fun prank to pull on a friend..

005. strongholds...

Hey, it's just me. I just got back from the Bible study I attend every week. We are going through Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" study. It's a study to help women break free from the bondages in their lives that are keeping them from a satisfying and fulfilling life with God.

Today the video segment topic was on "Binding the Brokenhearted." I so wish they had free versions of the video segments so I could post it. Anyway, the main message was to prove that as much stuff as we try to fill up our lives with, we can't completely fill the crevasses. Only water can completely fill: heavenly water. 

Anyway, at the end of the study our leader showed us a video from Big Daddy Weave called "Redeemed." Anything that we have done or been through, we are redeemed from it. Anything that we think about ourselves that's negative, God can free us from that. So, our leader told us to, while listening to the song, write down what you feel, or what God is speaking to our hearts about ourselves in relation to the song. I suggest that you do the same. I'm going to conclude with what I wrote, and have a link for the song underneath. 

~All my life, I never felt good enough for anyone. Anything that I did was supposedly not my best. I was told that I needed to work better; I needed to try harder. I've always compared myself to others, which forced me to not be confident in not only myself, but my work as well. Grades and achievements had always defined who I am. I need to learn that I am not defined by what I do, but who I am in God. And that's my stronghold.~

 But hey, it's just me.

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004. girls and jealousy...

Hey, it's just me. If you're a girl, you know this little emotion named Jealousy. He's evil and sneaky. He allows you to do things that you KNOW are not the right thing. We all hate him, yet it's not the things he makes us do that we hate, but the way he makes us feel.

So, when you're a girl, Jealousy always pops up when there's a guy involved. Am I wrong girls? Whether he's single or not, Jealousy makes the crush feeling so much more vulnerable. When he's in a relationship, you hate the girlfriend so much it hurts, and when he's single, every girl he comes in contact with is your competition and the enemy. It sucks, doesn't it?

Now, why am I writing about this? Don't get any ideas, please (no seriously, don't. I'm not kidding you.). The inspiration came from tonight's episode of Baby Daddy on ABC Family. To give you a little summary: Riley has liked Ben since their days in high school, but Riley used to be fat, and now she's beautiful. Ben is now a father (hence the name, Baby Daddy) of an adorable girl named Emma who the mother left on his doorstep. The show follows the ups and downs of young adults raising a baby girl. Get the picture now? ANYWAY, Riley likes Ben. In this episode, Ben started dating the baby nurse. Riley is upset, and tries her hardest to put up with her. After the nurse tells Riley that she's sorry for Riley because she thinks/knows Riley is in love with Ben, Riley attacks nurse during Ben's older brother's hockey game, and gets caught on camera. In the end, Ben breaks up with baby nurse, and slyly tries to get Riley to admit her feelings, but fails. Ben continues to refer to Riley as "such a great friend", putting Riley in the oh-so dreaded... FRIEND ZONE (cue the scary music). The best lines from tonight's episode in relation to this topic had to be: 
   Ben: "Thank you, you're such a great friend." Riley: "I hate that word."
   Riley: "And by special I mean that I hate that girl. She is so going down."
   Riley: "It's different because she's better at it."
And to save the best for last...
   Riley: "Friend. Oops no still hate that word."

Can any of you relate? C'mon, I know you can. If you're a girl, now matter how much you try, you also know Jealousy. What can you do to prevent Jealousy from destroying you and your crushing? Well, just try to keep him in check. In other words, THINK before you ACT. I know it's hard, but keep in mind that you are not alone. 


But hey, it's just me.


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003. i don't know...

Hey, it's just me. And I really have no idea what to say. I really didn't learn anything today, or have any pondering thoughts. I guess I just had another day. 

I'm starting to wonder if this blog will only just be a diary for me, or even help someone out. I've had almost no page views, which in a way is unfortunate, but then again I guess I just haven't written anything meaningful yet. Like I posted in 001, it seems that no one cares about anyone unless they are famous. So, I am now assuming that one is reading this because no one cares.

I'm currently finishing up watching this week's episode of The Glee Project on Oxygen. No one knew any of these kids even existed until the show premiered, and now they have thousands of fans on Facebook and unnumbered followers on Twitter. Boys and girls hang on every post and tweet. If they weren't on the show, would it still be that way? I would assume not so much. I also have to admit to being one of those fans of these once unknowns.

I don't want to be famous. But I've always wanted to do something meaningful that would help someone out. That's why I've made it possible to leave comments. I just wish I knew what to write about...

But hey, it's just me. 

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002. dancing through the rain...

Hey. It's just me. And it's raining here today, as it typically does. I wish I lived in a deserted neighborhood instead of on a busy main street. Wanna know why?

I just wanna dance through the rain. I don't just mean this in a physical way, I mean it mentally too. Have you ever just wanted to escape your problems? I have. Everyday. 

You know that saying, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"? I've been thinking about that saying a lot lately, mainly since it's been raining here so much lately. I guess I just have been having a tough time dealing with my problems head-on. To me, the saying means that we have to really just deal with the problems we are given. I dunno, life is hard, and we just got to make the best of it.

I was talking to two pretty awesome friends yesterday whom I miss. I was having two separate conversations, but in the end I got on the topic of dealing with life problems. It was really cool hearing their perspectives. I've always liked having deep conversations with people, but hey, that's just me.

I guess this was a sort of boring post. So, to make it better, here's a picture of the feature quote from today's post. Just my way of saying hey, it's just me.

 

001. a day in the life...

Hey. It's just me. We all have days that make up our lives. The question is what are we supposed to do with those days. And if you are a celebrity, everyone is always dying to know what you do everyday in what seems to be a glamorous life. But, have you ever thought about what a day in the life is like for the man walking down the street or your old friend from high school or that girl you met in line at the cash register last week? As rude as this may sound, we are all, in one way or another, selfish. If someone isn't famous or doesn't have an immediate connection to our lives, we honestly do not seem to care about other people around us.


I've thought about this concept for awhile now. Why don't we care about other people? I guess that question can't be answered with just one answer. It's really based on our own personality and upbringing. I know that my parents used to always say, "If it's not your kid then don't worry about it" if they saw a kid misbehaving and the parent wasn't doing anything to stop the bad behavior. In a way, that's a good motto I guess.


I'm not saying that we have to worry about everyone we come in contact with. I'm just saying that maybe we all need to stop only caring about ourselves, and begin to care about those we share our days in our lives with. I think that Matthew West in his song, "My Own Little World"-
           What if there’s a bigger picture?
                  What if I’m missing out?
                  What if there’s a greater purpose
                  I could be living right now?
                 Outside my own little world

If that seems like you, take a listen to the rest of the song here. You may not have the same opinion I do but hey, it's just me.

it's just me...

Hey. It's just me. A girl. A girl living in this world. A girl who is growing up. A girl with hopes and dreams. A girl with friends and enemies. A girl trying to figure out her career path. A girl who doesn't understand human love. 

Yes, I'm all these things. But that's just the basics. I'm a girl that wants to do something with her life that's meaningful. So, I thought I'd start with writing it all down, here. I mean, my life isn't that exciting. I'm not the mayor's daughter or a beauty queen or up on a stage. But, I am a daughter of the heavenly King, and that most definitely is exciting. I've always wanted to inspire people. I've also always wanted to have the truth be told. So, I guess I'll figure this thing called life out somehow. But, I'm not doing it alone. I believe that's why God gives us friends. We all need someone by our side to go on this journey called life.

And if you ever need somebody, I'd like to tell you that I'm virtually here for you. I may have some answers. So, hey, it's just me.